So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
