Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
