what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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