Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
