Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
