I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
