it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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