Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
