I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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