You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
