no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
