He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
