The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
