is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
