actually, I'm a sock model
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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