maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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