if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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