i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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