Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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