you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
