We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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