Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
