Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
