oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
