Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I supernannyed him into submission
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
