I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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