YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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