I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
