Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its not stalking. its research.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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