i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
