i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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