So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
