Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i've created a new STD.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
