I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
