; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
