He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His hands were made for my vagina.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
do nipples grow back?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
