i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
