So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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