i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
