Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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