im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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