just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
