Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
