just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
