mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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