she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I didn't notice because vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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