If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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