I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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