I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
