My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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